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If you are struggling with a separation or a divorce, you are not alone.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Four Years Later


It has been almost exactly four years to the day that I started this blog that my marriage ended. So what is my excuse for waiting so long? Why did I wait four years, writing lessons and stories in retrospect as opposed to in real time, as they happened?

Truthfully, Fear.

Not fear of rejection. Not fear of retaliation, but fear of using social media. Even though I am thirty-four years old, I am only somewhat computer literate and I am technically challenged by today’s standards. Blogs have been around for years, but I myself have only just started getting into social media. Oh sure, I have a Facebook page, but I really only use it as a place to post pictures.  I started a twitter account but I still find myself struggling to come up with interesting tweets.

Truth is, I have been playing with the idea of writing a blog for a while now. Writing is my creative outlet. I literally become depressed and riddled with anxiety when I don’t get to write for a couple of days.   Where novels can take years to come to life, a blog post takes a day or two. It is practically instant gratification in comparison.

The Writer’s Mantra is ‘write what you know’. Well, I know my experiences with marriage and divorce, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and they are experiences that I think a lot of women can relate to.
And you know what? I think if I had blogged the actual demise of the relationship in real time, there would have been a lot of negativity spewed and a lot of blame hurled at my ex-husband. I still shift a boatload of the blame over on him, but at this point in my life I can admit that it takes two to break up a marriage. I can admit my mistakes that contributed to the demise of the marriage. 

Four years ago I would have been the victim that laid the destruction solely at his feet.  You would have seen the nastiest thoughts of an imploding marriage. Oh the things I would have regretted writing after the fact.

After four years, enough time has passed to have perspective. I can talk about the sadness, the anger, and the loneliness from a reflective point of view – not a ‘happening-in-the-moment-oh-my-god-should-we-be-worried-about-her’ state of agitation.

So yeah, waiting four years to create this blog was a good idea


www.jenniferschipper.com

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