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If you are struggling with a separation or a divorce, you are not alone.

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Follow Your Passion / Believe In Yourself


I know I still owe you Part Two of The Most Pathetic things I Did To Save My Marriage, but after the frustrating week I have had (coming to terms with the difficult realities of e-publishing books from Canada), I wanted to write something more upbeat and inspiring, something to remind myself why I need to jump the hurdles necessary to make the e-book thing happen.

Anyone who knows me knows I am passionate about writing. I have only recently started putting myself out there, but my love of writing was discovered back in the year 2000. My ex and I lived in Vancouver at the time (for his career) and I was not working.

One day he said, “You should write a book. I bet you would be good at it.” I kind of laughed at the idea but it stuck with me. A couple days later I got out a pen and paper and started writing. To my surprise, I found myself with some characters and the start of a storyline. I got excited. It was a murder plot. My ex joked that it was him I killed off in the opening scene. I wrote a four hundred-page novel and I felt like I had accomplished the world.

When we moved back to Ontario in 2002, it was obvious that I had officially found love in writing, so my ex suggested that I take a night course to polish my skills.  What the class taught me was that I had no antagonist, no protagonist, and no story arcs. In other words, it taught me how to format chapters of a novel. It also helped me to develop a critique group who constructively edited my writing.

I scrapped the story I wrote in Vancouver, but I was undeterred.  I was looking forward to applying what I had learned to my craft. I came up with new stories. My poor husband was forced to sit through hours and hours of me talking on and on and on about the research I was doing for my stories.

My ex has always been an entrepreneur at heart. He always pushed through the obstacles and past his comfort zone to do whatever necessary to be successful while I always held on to what I perceived to be a healthy dose of fear (for the both of us). Hence the reason he is out there being successful pursuing his dream and I am only now stepping up to the plate.  

The divorce threw my writing into disarray for two years as I got my life back in order, but I am fortunate to have found another man who encourages my writing, going so far as to read and critique it (something my ex, although supportive, never did). And I have managed to come back stronger.

You have to be passionate about what you are doing. And you have to believe in yourself. You need to believe that you deserve the successes you dream of. If you live in fear, if you live with self-doubt, you will never believe that you are good enough, and if you don’t believe you’re good enough, why would anybody else think you are?

I know my writing is good. I have no doubt I will find success, and for that reason, I cannot let a not-so-little thing like getting an American Tax Exemption number get in the way of putting myself out there.

My ex will always be the first person who ever believed in my writing. Heck, he believed in it before I did. He was the one telling the world I was a writer way before I was ever ready to tell even my closest family. There is no rewriting history. And that is why my upcoming novel ‘6 Divorces’ (still in early first draft re-writes) is already (cryptically) dedicated to him.




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