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If you are struggling with a separation or a divorce, you are not alone.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

The Most Pathetic Things I Did To Try And Save My Marriage (Part One)


I wish this article could be titled the most pathetic thing I did, singular, but unfortunately I did two pathetic things, plural.  Today, I give you pathetic thing number one.

The first few days after my ex-husband left, I lived under the delusion that our separation was only temporary; that he would come to his senses and come home with his tail between his legs.

Even in the midst of ugly things like separations, life does go on. Winter was upon us. It was Christmas after all. My ex got the snow tires put on our car (we only owned one vehicle at the time) then dropped the summer tires off at the house to be stored over the winter. It wasn’t like I could say no – he was living out of garbage bags in his mom’s basement. He had nowhere else to put them. Plus I still thought I wanted him to come home so I played nice.

But housing the tires is not what I qualify as my sad, desperate move.

Anyone who knows anything about performance brakes and expensive alloy rims knows that the brake dust attaches itself to the wheels faster than barnacles grow on the bottom of ocean liners. The black dust is a constant battle, not to mention a constant reminder that your brakes are getting used and only getting worse, but I digress, I am moving off topic. Brake dust is not only unsightly, but it is also corrosive and can do serious damage to rims. There are entire lines of cleaning products dedicated to the removal of the offending brake dust. We probably spent more on rim cleaners than I spent on home cleaning products.

So my ex dropped off the summer rims, informing me that they were still dirty. He instructed me to clean them, as he didn’t have time to do it himself, and drove off before I could come to my senses enough to argue him on it.

Staring at four tires, each wrapped in its own garbage bag, I debated with myself – to wash them, or not wash them, that was the question.

What did I do?

I washed them.

Wheels and rims are heavy. My garage was cold. My hands froze. My jacket got dirty. I cried, hating myself every minute of the process.

I guess the problem was I did this for me. I did it so he could see that he could still rely on me, and for that reason, it could actually be seen as a selfish action. I also did it because I am cheap. I did not want to be buying new rims in the New Year. Sigh…

To be continued...

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